Feeling “Stuck”? How to Overcome It
Updated: Jan 20
Hello! I am Linda Bailey, MBA, owner of Total You and Total Equine Health. Our blogs, like our podcasts, discuss topics on women’s health ranging from making better non-toxic choices, remedies that help you feel better, ways to destress, how to eat healthier, detoxing your body and environment, and more!
This blog is about feeling “stuck”. Maybe you are in a job you don’t like, you’re apart from people and you miss seeing them, or, maybe you have some goals you have wanted to hit and you’ve tried your hardest but just can’t quite seem to hit them.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve kind of been all over the place throughout the pandemic. I’ve been concerned about the business, concerned about reaching my own personal goals, and socially, not being able to get with family and friends as often. This “socially distancing” thing, while necessary, is not something this extrovert wants to have to deal with. Can you relate???
So, are you feeling “stuck” or at a dead end with anything in your life? When this happens, don’t just dwell on it. Do something about it! Here are some steps you can take that may help:
1. The most important thing you can do is figure out exactly why you feel stuck. Is
it because you are in a job you dislike? Do you feel alone and that you are out of
touch? Or do you want to lose weight or have a workout routine but don’t
know what to do?
Writing things down gives you a lot of clarity. I’m not a person who is big on journaling (I don’t think it is wrong, I just don’t do it), but I do make lists or if I have a big decision to make, I write down all the pros and cons to help me make that decision. Whatever it takes for you to jot down some thoughts, writing it down really seems to bring clarity to the situation. If after all that you still feel there is something you haven’t uncovered, there are counselors, personal and/or business coaches, etc. that can help you (I will say more on this in a moment).
2. Once you know why you are feeling the way you do, the next step is to decide to
That sounds so simple, but yet, if you don’t do it, no one else is going to do it for you. Making the decision to change whatever is wrong is crucial. Otherwise, you are going to continue in the direction you’ve been going in. You’ve all heard this before I’m sure but it bears repeating here, “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results” – Albert Einstein. So, make the decision to change!
3. Now take that pencil or pen and make another list (yes, write it down) of all the
small changes you can take to make your situation better.
When you do this, it is all about getting everything in your head down on paper. It is NOT the time to decide which ideas are the best and which are plain out of the question. JUST WRITE IT DOWN!
Most of the time, the reason we don’t hit our goals is because we have set too lofty a goal. Break things down into smaller tasks that you can accomplish each day or week, THEN …
4. Go through the list and prioritize what is the best plan of action to take to get to
Again, focus on small things you can do every day or week to get you to where you want to be. It feels good to check things off the list. You feel accomplished, and you can literally track your way to your goal. This gives you motivation to continue moving forward!
5. Once you have prioritized what you need to do, set a time frame to get
Actually putting a date and time on this really keeps you motivated to getting it done. Make sure it is realistic and that it is not too big a task to do within that time frame – again, small bites at a time!
6. Make sure you keep this list somewhere where you will see it once a day or
multiple times a week.
This keeps your goals front and center so you won’t forget the plan and so you know what you need to do each day to get it done. Remember, YOU ARE IMPORTANT and one of the best things you can do for yourself is to help yourself reach your goals!
Now that you decided on your goal or goals, you’ve broken down steps you can take into small actions, prioritized them, you’ve written everything down, assigned a date to them, and you look at this every day, there are a few other things that will help you along the way to keep you on track:
1. Speak kindly to yourself.
In the beginning of trying to reach your goal, if you are like me, you may be a bit hard on yourself. You may feel like a failure, that you have been down this road a dozen times before and it hasn’t worked. Stop right there! Start shifting that mindset and stop focusing on the negative. Now is the time to focus on you and the positives – “I am going to walk for 30 minutes every day; I’m going to stick to my plan; I’m getting out of debt; whatever it is.
Don’t live in the state of would have, could have, should have … STOP!!! Focus on what you are DOING NOW, which is keeping up with your plan, focusing on those small steps. Give yourself a break! You’re not going to be perfect – get over it and just follow your plan! One last thing to keep in mind – It is YOUR responsibility to make yourself happy; don’t depend on others to make you happy. Stay focused and be positive!
2. Be careful who you share your goals with.
Don’t ask the opinion of others about your goal if they haven’t done what you want to do or been down the road you have to go down. They may have good intentions, but you need to talk to people who have successfully done what you want to do.
3. This goes along with what we just discussed but let go of the things that are
weighing you down.
Here is a link to a GREAT article about 17 things that can weigh you down - https://www.elitedaily.com/life/motivation/17-things-weigh-youll-give-order-fly/741269. Focus on changing if any of these ring true with you!
4. Invest in yourself.
If after doing all these things you still feel like you need help, invest in yourself – check out some podcasts that discuss what you want to do, read books, surround yourself with like-minded people, hire a coach to help you stick to your plan. Whatever it takes – YOU ARE WORTH IT! Take the time to work on yourself.
5. Focus on what you can do for others, not yourself.
Sometimes, we just need to help someone else to take the spotlight off of ourselves. I know we are still in the middle of this pandemic, but there are things you can do to help others, such as getting involved with a non-profit. League of Older Americans still needs help delivering food to shut ins – you can do this safely. Or, join a walking group that social distances – you can do this safely as well. Again, for many more ideas, do an online search, talk to like-minded people to see what they do. It makes you feel good that you can make a difference in others’ lives!
Whew, that was a lot of information and maybe you’ve heard all this before. I just want to bring hope to people that you CAN change and these steps are a way to do just that. I hope this blog gives you some ideas you can use to make some positive changes in your life.
And, if you are struggling with pain, anxiety/depression, or need quicker muscle recovery, you can do all that with Photobiomodulation (or red light) therapy! Just 20 minutes or less can really make a difference.
If you would like to try this out, please call Total You Health – 540-404-8858 or go online to book your first-time visit – only $25! - https://www.schedulicity.com/scheduling/TYHW8C/services/promotion/FTVER2TC
I’m curious, how many of you out there listen to podcasts? I would love to get some comments back on this and those of you who do, what do you listen to? I am somewhat new to the podcast world, but the inspiration for me to do this one came from a podcast I heard on “Shediditherway.com”. I heard an interview with Amanda Jane Clarkson. This podcast was more about building a business, but the one with Amanda Jane Clarkson mentioned turning problems into opportunities. Check it out!